I recently discovered the Fuck Yeah Condiments blog which celebrates the various bottled, canned, tubed and jarred accoutrements which can enhance and add spark on the side of a meal. I love it. All manner of freaky and wonderful sauces and potions are here, some bordering on the disturbing such as the pictured 'Marvin Mustard Spread Head'. Yikes.

But even this rather unappetising image won't temper my love affair with condiments. I'll always be the one in the cafe or pub stock-piling millions of sachets of ketchup, mayonnaise, salad cream and brown sauce to go with my burger and chips. I'll be the reason that waiter looks tired out running to and from the kitchen bearing various requested ramekins of mayonnaise, mustard, tartare or cranberry sauce.

The eternal problem with being a condiment fan is that a little goes a long way - eg. you may only need a small spoonful of a particular condiment once a week, meaning your fridge is perpetually packed with monolithic jars and tubs which just refuse to empty. This is compounded by the fact that the sheer VARIETY of condiments is pretty much endless - think of all the varieties of chutneys that are possible, and the infinite combinations, let alone moving onto relishes, jams, jellies, mustards or sauces. The other problem is that the sheer variety of condiments makes them even more tempting and addictive, leading to an often unwitting accumulation building up in your cupboards, fridges and tables.

Still, I can't stand it when you go to someone's house for dinner and there's nothing provided to enchant and enhance the meal on the side, whether it's chutney with curries, or ketchup with pies, or horseradish or garlic mayonnaise or redcurrant jelly or mint sauce (you get the idea)...with roast meat or sausages. People too often don't appreciate quite how much a condiment can help lubricate the tastebuds and tickle the senses in many combinations both classic and unique: lamb and mint, hot dogs and mustard, fish with lemon, prawns with sweet chilli sauce, goats cheese and onion marmalade, or more strange favourites of mine like horseradish with parsnips and apple sauce dollopped on cabbage. And as for those who aren't scrupulously efficient about making sure they serve gravy or sauce with any meal involving a pie, sausages or roast meat well, don't get me started...